Looking For Answers

After seventeen months away, my son came home recently. At twenty years of age, most young adults are beginning to practice the skills of adulthood, independent thinking, and discovering themselves in new and exciting ways. Joe is not so fortunate. He wasn't away at college or vocational training. He was receiving intensive therapeutic care for serious mental illness. Sending him there was a difficult and costly decision, but his father and I so want him to have a chance at living his God-given life. Yet after all those months, Joe remained virtually paralyzed in his ability to live.

Because of his mounting frustration there, the decision was made to bring him back home to locate a local supportive living environment for him. Five weeks in, the results of my efforts at finding such a place are most discouraging. Waiting lists are everywhere. Many homes have closed due to safety compliance issues. Other homes have poor reputations when it comes to adequate supervision and protecting the residents. What in the world is a family to do?

Filling his daytime hours is another challenge. Joe isn't stable enough to work, go to school, or maintain any sort of routine on his own. He longs to matter, to do something of value, and to belong to something bigger than himself. Yet in his paralyzed state, these remain lofty ideals. A mind that is broken is a heavy burden. One that he carries, and one that his family also carries. And there are so many questions.

We aren't alone. There are other families searching and praying that they too will find that open door that will lead to some quality of life for their sons, daughters, brothers or sisters. Mental illness is as devastating as any major illness, yet it brings a unique set of challenges. Medication and sound professional care, though often hard to find, are welcome assets in these types of illnesses. Yet there is so much that can't be fixed or managed, leaving many families, ours included, desperately looking for answers.