Apricot Ginger Tea with a Slice of Romance: Part II

I have a confession to make: I long to be swept off my feet. Pair that longing alongside the fact that I'm married to the man I love, and the result can sometimes be confusing, to say the least.

Just surviving marriage in the midst of raising a family including a special needs son, with enough left in the love tank to even care about one another is a bonus. We are two very different people when it comes to relational styles. Yet in spite of our differences, despite periods of disillusionment, and in the midst of what has become a callous world, I find myself wanting more than survival -- and I believe he does too.

The dance of intimacy is scary. You see, I am a clumsy dancer. Brian isn't a natural at it either. But we are learning that if we engage in this dance, we stand to experience deeper levels of honesty, joy, forgiveness, grace, compassion, and love. If we choose to dance through pain and uncertainties instead of around them, or instead of turning away, the door is opened toward more intimate and real connection. In this deeper place of knowing and being known, I long to discover a better balance of romantic love.

Apricot Ginger Tea with a Slice of Romance: Part I

Brian, my husband took me out on a date earlier this week. Bringing me flowers and taking me to dinner, he later asked if the evening was romantic. The meal was very good, and I discovered a delicious apricot ginger iced tea which I had with a twist of lime, but truthfully I didn't feel particularly romanced. This led to my own inner questioning: How could I answer truthfully without hurting his feelings? Why is romance such an elusive element in this nearly quarter of a century we've been married? Why am I so hard to please? Is Brian doomed to feelings of ambivalence because of my notions of romance? What exactly is romance?

I haven't turned up much substance in any published matter, only romantic suggestions, reminder lists and formulas which fail to excite the idealist in me. Turning to the basics, I researched definitions using Internet resources, where I discovered that romance is defined by intimacy, purity, mystery, excitement, imagination, impracticality, and passion. Based on these ideals, true romance actually exceeds the limits of the natural mortal! To flesh that out a bit more, notions of romance involve:

*ongoing levels of intimacy where individuals in relationship feel known
*partners who possess the ability to persuade, delight and arouse admiration, excitement and the emotions
*a love that is free of pollutants that inhibit one's ability to love wholly
*well executed and imaginative ideas
*elements of mystery

To romance one's beloved means to endeavor to gain someone's affection -- on an ongoing basis! By its very nature, it is impractical and unrealistic. A romantic love is dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure and chivalry. It is characterized by passion, enthusiasm and a dogged determination to love.

Romantic love is not a cognitive action, but rather, an affective/ emotionally charged action. However, the effect of such an action can be observed in an analytical way -- such as an electron when it becomes excited it is then promoted to a higher than normal state. This is something Brian can sink his teeth into -- a scientific reference point! Anyway, if romance is the means to increase the potential and promote our love and life together, I'd sure like a better grasp on this mystical endeavor.

to be continued

Election 2008: A MOMENT IN TIME FOR AN AMERICAN BELIEVER

This is the day which the Lord has brought about; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24 (Amplified Bible)

Today is a new day in the history of our country. Barack Obama has been elected to the office of President. For too long the consequences of racial sin have troubled this nation, undermining her integrity, impacting the lives of countless families, and rendering the lives of many individuals insignificant. With this election, the wall of prejudice has received a mighty blow.

There is a hitch to this feel-good moment: many god-fearing citizens are concerned. I was reminded of this reality just after I cast my vote. As I exited the poll, a friend told me about the people she knew to be praying about the outcome of the election. Her own belief is that our nation would, by virtue of the winning candidate, receive either God’s wrath or His mercy – not because of the color of the candidate’s skin, but because of party affiliations, stances on guarded Christian precepts, and other key issues. It was a classic example of the religious right versus leftist politics.

The temptation for many faithful believers from this day going forward, will be to feel that the values of the kingdom have been set back, that we have lost ground, and that our nation has been given over to experience the consequences of faithlessness. This would, I feel, only serve to promote feelings of antagonism, despair and fear.

These are troubling times. However, I do not believe that the body of Christ – the church – lost anything last night. I believe we gained an opportunity to take a humble, loving and active role in the very hope we long for on behalf of our nation. Consider what Tavis Smiley asked for last night as the world watched the election coverage:

Barack Obama has just become an iconic international figure. There are a lot of pluses and minuses to that – there’s a lot of pressure to live up to that iconic status. My prayer tonight for Senator Obama is for his soul that he doesn’t lose it – that he doesn’t sell it – that he doesn’t surrender it – that he holds on to the core essence of who he is. The pressure on that kind of figure – I don’t think we can imagine.

NBC Special Election Coverage

I am reminded of the Apostle Paul’s desire for the church:

It is so important that you pray about the needs and wants of all individuals, because each one of us is limited, prone to sin and make mistakes. Try to ascertain God’s heart for your fellow man, while also attempting to value them and just plain old “get” them. You won’t be able to change them, but you’ll find as you intentionally tune into others, your attitudes about them will be changed, and your heart will be filled with thanksgiving toward God for the privilege of drawing nearer to one another in this way.

Pray also for governmental officials and those who are charged with positions of leadership and authority so that they can overcome their own limitations and rule well.

This very act of prayer will enable us to be about the business of discovering our own limitations – making way for humility. Humility lends itself to transformation, and our own lives become marked by the attributes of Christ, lending an irrefutable integrity to our lives. It is in this place, that our ability to influence the world around us increases substantially.

I Timothy 2:1-2 paraphrased

What if the goal is not for Christians to win the legal battle over abortion? Or win the right to publically display the Ten Commandments? What if it is not up to us to preserve the sanctity of marriage or even elect like-minded officials? What if today the call is simply to pray and to grow in our ability to relate to our fellow Americans honorably? What if today there is a President-elect who earnestly needs our humble and prayerful support to navigate the certain challenges, dangers and demands he will be faced with, in ways that no President before him has? What if today, we have been gifted with an opportunity to reap the benefits of our own growing faith?

We prayed for this election. God has given us an opportunity. Can we now resist the temptation to lean on our own understanding, and instead trust that the Lord is big enough and good enough to do over and beyond what we could ever imagine? It just may be that this new day is more glorious than we can even fathom.